Kevin Garnett is an American professional basketball power forward and center. He has played for the NBA’s Minnesota Timberwolves (1995-2007), Boston Celtics (2007-2013) and Brooklyn Nets (2013-present). Garnett is a 15-time NBA All-Star and won the All-Star MVP award in 2003. In 2004, he led the Timberwolves to the Western Conference Finals and was named the league’s Most Valuable Player (MVP). After spending 12 seasons with the Timberwolves, Garnett was traded to the Celtics in a blockbuster trade in 2007. In his first season with Boston, he helped lead them to the 2008 NBA championship and was named Defensive Player of the Year. In the 2000 Summer Olympics, Garnett won a gold medal as a member of the U.S. men’s national basketball team.
Beyoncé Knowles-Carter is an American singer-songwriter and actress. She rose to fame in the late 1990s as lead singer of R&B girl-group Destiny’s Child, which disbanded in 2005. Beyoncé released her debut solo album in 2003 and has since released four additional studio albums. She also ventured into acting, with a Golden Globe-nominated performance in Dreamgirls (2006), and several starring roles including The Pink Panther (2006). In 2008, Beyoncé married Jay-Z and starred as blues singer Etta James in the 2008 musical biopic, Cadillac Records. Over her 16-year career, she has won 17 Grammy Awards and sold over 75 million records as a solo artist, plus 60 million with Destiny’s Child, making her one of the best-selling music artists of all time. Beyoncé was born on this day in 1981.
Note: This 8-bit outfit is based on the getup Beyoncé wore for her Super Bowl XLVII halftime show performance at the New Orleans Superdome on February 3, 2013. Here is a playable family-feud matchup: Beyoncé Knowles vs. Jay-Z.
David Fincher is an American film director, film producer and music video director. He was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Director for his 2008 film The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and his 2010 film The Social Network. Some of Fincher’s other films include Seven (1995), Fight Club (1999), Panic Room (2002) and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011). His most recent film is Gone Girl, a mystery-thriller scheduled for release on October 3, 2014. Fincher moved to Ashland, Oregon in his teens, where he graduated from Ashland High School. He was born on this day in 1962.
Note: Fincher, with black stocking cap, is character #777 in honor of Se7en, one of the best movies of the mid-1990s.
Reggie Miller is a retired American professional basketball player and current NBA commentator. He played his entire 18-year NBA career with the Indiana Pacers (1987-2005). Miller was known for his precision three-point shooting, especially in pressure situations and most notably against the New York Knicks, for which he earned the nickname “Knick Killer.” When he retired, he held the record for most career three-point field goals made; he is currently second on the list behind Ray Allen. A five-time All-Star selection, Miller led the league in free throw accuracy five times and won a gold medal in the 1996 Summer Olympics. The Pacers retired his No. 31 in 2006. Miller was born on this day in 1965.
I will never forget Miller’s eight points in 8.9 seconds in the 1995 Eastern Conference Semifinals to defeat the Knicks and Patrick Ewing. I was watching that game on May 7, 1995 as a 16-year-old obsessed with basketball. Aside from Michael Jordan, most of my favorite players were three-point specialists, as that was often my role when I played team basketball. Another memorable Miller moment was his two-handed choke sign (and his infamous one-handed choke/nut grab taunt) directed at irritating Knicks fan Spike Lee during the 1994 Eastern Conference Finals. Here are a couple of relevant matchups: Reggie Miller vs. Spike Lee and Reggie Miller vs. Patrick Ewing.
Christian Laettner is a retired American basketball player and current NBA D-League basketball coach. He played college basketball for the Duke Blue Devils, starring on the 1991 and 1992 NCAA national championship teams. Laettner is best known for “The Shot” versus the Kentucky Wildcats. He parlayed that NCAA performance into being the only college player selected for the U.S. men’s national basketball team in 1992, nicknamed the “Dream Team.” During his 13-year NBA career, Laettner played for the Minnesota Timberwolves, Atlanta Hawks, Detroit Pistons, Dallas Mavericks, Washington Wizards and Miami Heat. Though Laettner never became the superstar some expected, he was voted onto the All-Rookie First Team in 1992-93 and was an All-Star reserve in 1996-97 while a member of the Hawks. He was born on this day in 1969.
Idi Amin Dada was the third President of Uganda, ruling from 1971 to 1979. In 1946, Amin joined the British colonial regiment, the King’s African Rifles, serving in Kenya and Uganda. Eventually, Amin held the rank of major general in the post-colonial Ugandan Army and became its commander before seizing power in the military coup of January 1971. Amin’s rule was characterized by human rights abuses, political repression, ethnic persecution, extrajudicial killings, nepotism, corruption and gross economic mismanagement. The number of people killed as a result of his regime is estimated by international observers and human rights groups to range from 100,000 to 500,000. During his years in power, Amin shifted in allegiance from being a pro-Western ruler enjoying considerable Israeli support to being backed by Libya’s Muammar Gaddafi, the Soviet Union and East Germany. Dissent within Uganda and Amin’s attempt to annex the Kagera province of Tanzania in 1978 led to the Uganda-Tanzania War and the demise of his eight-year regime, leading Amin to flee into exile to Libya and Saudi Arabia, where he lived until his death on August 16, 2003.
Chris Mullin is a retired American basketball player and former general manager of the NBA’s Golden State Warriors. He played shooting guard and small forward in the NBA from 1985 to 2001. A five-time NBA All-Star, Mullin played for the Warriors from the 1985 to 1997 and the Indiana Pacers from 1997 to 2000. He retired after a final season playing for his original team, the Warriors. Mullin won Olympic gold medals as a member of the 1984 and 1992 United States men’s national basketball teams.
John Stockton is a retired American professional basketball player. He spent his entire professional playing career as a point guard for the NBA’s Utah Jazz, from 1984 to 2003, forming a formidable duo with his teammate Karl Malone. Stockton is regarded as one of the best point guards of all time, holding the NBA records for most career assists and steals by considerable margins. He is a 10-time NBA All-Star and a two-time Olympic gold medal winner (1992, 1996) as a member of the “Dream Team.” Stockton appeared in the playoffs every season of his career, including the NBA Finals in 1997 and 1998 with the Jazz.
Karl Malone, nicknamed “The Mailman,” is a retired American professional basketball power forward. He spent his first 18 seasons (1985-2003) in the NBA with the Utah Jazz and formed a formidable duo with his teammate John Stockton. Malone was a two-time NBA MVP (1997, 1999) , a 14-time NBA All-Star and a two-time Olympic gold medal winner (1992, 1996) as a member of the “Dream Team.” He scored the second-most career points in NBA history (36,928), and holds the records for most free throws attempted and made. Malone appeared in the playoffs every season in his career, including the NBA Finals in 1997 and 1998 with the Jazz. He played his final season with the Los Angeles Lakers, with whom he played his third Finals in 2004.
Hieronymus Bosch was an Early Netherlandish painter. His work is known for its use of fantastic imagery to illustrate moral and religious concepts and narratives. Very little is known about the artist or the intended meaning of his art. However, it is known that Bosch received many commissions to paint from abroad—and in response, he masterfully painted saints, demons and the life of Christ with profound creepiness. Notable works include the triptychs The Garden of Earthly Delights and The Adoration of the Magi, and many other paintings of various panel formats. The exact number of Bosch’s surviving works has been a subject of considerable debate. He signed only seven of his paintings, and there is uncertainty whether all the paintings once ascribed to him were actually from his hand. Bosch died on this day in 1516.
Clyde Drexler is a retired American professional basketball swingman, who played for the NBA’s Portland Trail Blazers (1983-95) and Houston Rockets (1995-98). Nicknamed “Clyde the Glide,” he is a 10-time NBA All-Star and won an Olympic gold medal in 1992 as a member of the “Dream Team.” Drexler came closest to bringing an NBA championship to Oregon in the 1992 NBA Finals, but Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls prevailed. Drexler went on to win an NBA championship in 1995 as a member of the Houston Rockets, alongside his college teammate Hakeem Olajuwon. He currently serves as a color commentator for Rockets home games.
Note: Before entering the NBA, Drexler and Olajuwon played together on the 1982-83 University of Houston men’s basketball team. Nicknamed Phi Slama Jama, the Houston Cougars teams of 1982 to 1984 popularized an athletic, fast-breaking “above the rim” style of play. Both Cougars teams ended up losing in the NCAA tournament final. In 1983, they were shockingly upset by North Carolina State on a buzzer-beating dunk. In 1984, they lost to a strong Georgetown team anchored by Patrick Ewing.
Charles Barkley is a retired American professional basketball player and current television analyst, who played power forward for the NBA’s Philadelphia 76ers (1984-1992), Phoenix Suns (1992-1996) and Houston Rockets (1996-2000). Nicknamed “Chuck,” “Sir Charles,” and “The Round Mound of Rebound,” Barkley is a 11-time NBA All-Star, the 1991 All-Star MVP, the 1993 NBA MVP and a two-time Olympic gold medal winner (1992, 1996) as a member of the “Dream Team.” Short for a power forward, Barkley used his strength and aggressiveness to become one of the NBA’s most dominant rebounders. Though popular, Barkley has often been the butt of jokes regarding his weight problems, unorthodox golf swing and highly opinionated persona.
P.S. Don’t forget that time in 1992 when a 300-foot-tall Charles Barkley dunked on Godzilla in downtown Tokyo. And later, in 1993, Dark Horse Comics released the one-shot comic book Godzilla vs. Barkley. This really happened.
David Robinson is a retired American professional basketball player, who played center for the NBA’s San Antonio Spurs for his entire career. Based on his prior service as an officer in the United States Navy, Robinson earned the nickname “The Admiral.” Robinson is a 10-time NBA All-Star, the 1995 NBA MVP, a two-time NBA champion (1999, 2003) and a two-time Olympic gold medal winner (1992, 1996) as a member of the “Dream Team.” He is widely considered one of the greatest centers in both college and NBA history. To date, Robinson is the only player from Navy to play in the NBA. He was born on this day in 1965.
Patrick Ewing, Sr. is a retired Jamaican-American basketball player. He played most of his career for the NBA’s New York Knicks as their starting center and played briefly for the Seattle SuperSonics and Orlando Magic. He is currently the associate head coach of the Charlotte Hornets, working under head coach Steve Clifford and owner Michael Jordan. Ewing won Olympic gold medals as a member of the 1984 and 1992 United States men’s national basketball teams. His number 33 was retired by the Knicks in 2003. He was born on this day in 1962.
Today is my daughter Ramona’s first birthday. She shares her birthday with Patrick Ewing, Neil Armstrong and Adam Yauch (MCA) of the Beastie Boys. Ramona is good. But back to Ewing. As a childhood fan of the Chicago Bulls and Michael Jordan in the late 1980s and 1990s, the attitude of Ewing’s Knicks always irritated me. I couldn’t stand John Starks, Charles Oakley, Anthony Mason and the whole rotten lot of them.
Barry Bonds is a retired Major League Baseball (MLB) left fielder. During a 22-year baseball career, he played for the Pittsburgh Pirates (1986-1992) and the San Francisco Giants (1993-2007). He is the son of former MLB All-Star outfielder Bobby Bonds. A 14-time All-Star and 8-time Gold Glove Award-winner, Bonds is considered one of the greatest baseball players of all time. He won the National League (NL) Most Valuable Player Award seven times, including four consecutively, both of which are records. Bonds also holds the MLB records for most career home runs (762), most home runs in a single season (73, set in 2001), most career walks (2,558) and most career intentional walks (688). He led a controversial career, notably as a central figure in baseball’s steroids scandal, in which he was convicted of obstruction of justice during the government’s investigation of BALCO. Bonds was born on this day in 1964.
It seemed fitting to make Bonds my 762nd pixel art character in honor of his 762 career home runs, especially since today is also his birthday. As evidenced by the testimony of my previous MLB pixel art character, Dock Ellis, modern players have always been using performance-enhancing drugs. Greenies and bennies were easy to get and commonly used by the late 1960s, and baseball players weren’t even tested for steroids until 2004. Keeping Bonds out of the Baseball Hall of Fame is a ludicrous double standard by a bunch of pompous old men. I do not endorse cheating by any athlete, but let’s get real here and climb off our high horses. Bonds was one of the most talented hitters and most important figures in the game of baseball, regardless of steroids. In fact, thanks to steroids, he may have grown the biggest head size the game has ever known.
Ray Allen is an American professional basketball shooting guard and current NBA free agent. He formerly played for the Milwaukee Bucks, Seattle SuperSonics, Boston Celtics and Miami Heat. In college, Allen was a member of the Connecticut Huskies. One of the most accurate three-point and free throw shooters in NBA history, he is a 10-time NBA All-Star, and has won two NBA championships (2008, 2013). Allen won a gold medal at the 2000 Summer Olympics as a member of the U.S. men’s basketball team. He has acted in two films, including the lead role of Jesus Shuttlesworth in the 1998 Spike Lee film He Got Game. Allen is the NBA’s all-time leader in three-point field goals made in both the regular season and the postseason. Now 39 years old, he was born on this day in 1975.
Note: Ray Allen is considering retirement, but he is also being recruited by LeBron James and company to join the new-look Cleveland Cavaliers (AKA the Cleveland Heat) and help them contend for a franchise-first championship. Allen is scheduled to be in China until July 27 and doesn’t appear to be in a rush to decide his playing future, sources said on July 18. He may be waiting to see if the Cavaliers trade for Kevin Love, thus creating another Big Three with Kyrie Irving and his friend LeBron.
Cristiano Ronaldo is a Portuguese footballer who plays as a forward for Spanish club Real Madrid and captains the Portugal national team. Ronaldo’s contract with Real Madrid, under the terms of which he is paid €21 million ($28.5 million) per year (after taxes), makes him the highest-paid footballer in the world. He is regarded by some in the sport to be currently the best player in the world. In 2008 and 2013, he won the FIFA Ballon d’Or/World Player of the Year award for the best footballer in the world. He was awarded the European Golden Shoe in 2008, 2011 and 2014.
Note: In the recent 2014 FIFA World Cup in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Cristiano Ronaldo’s Portugal national team was surprisingly eliminated from Group G, with Germany and the United States advancing to the knockout stage. In fact, during the 2014 World Cup, Germany managed to take out both teams with the top two players in the world, Argentina (Lionel Messi) and Portugal (Ronaldo), en route to a fourth World Cup title.
Lionel Messi is an Argentine footballer who plays as a forward for Spanish club FC Barcelona and the Argentina national team. He serves as the captain of his country’s national football team. Commonly ranked as the best player in the world and rated by some in the sport as the greatest of all time, Messi is the first football player in history to win four FIFA Ballon d’Or/World Player of the Year awards, all of which he won consecutively (2009-2012), as well as the first to win three European Golden Shoe awards. At the 2008 Summer Olympics, he won a gold medal with the Argentina football team.
Note: Today Lionel Messi’s Argentina team faces the Germany national football team in the 2014 FIFA World Cup final in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
Matthew Inman, who often goes by the nickname “the Oatmeal,” created the website The Oatmeal in 2009. The website features comics drawn by Inman, quizzes and occasional articles. Previously he built Mingle2, a dating website. Inman is also responsible for raising $211K for charity via his 2012 “Bearlove Good. Cancer Bad.” crowdfunding campaign, which was his brilliant response to FunnyJunk’s lawsuit threat. Inman has four published collections of comics, including How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You and Why Grizzly Bears Should Wear Underpants. He lives in the Fremont area of Seattle and was born on September 24, 1982.
For this 8-bit pixel art of Matthew Inman, I did my best to distort his face into the horrifying, exaggerated style of one of his characters from The Oatmeal. And, of course, I gave 8-bit Inman bottles of his beloved Sriracha Rooster Sauce to throw in my Gorillas game. I should also mention that today is the birthday of Nikola Tesla. This is relevant because in August 2012, Matthew Inman launched the “Let’s Build a Goddamn Tesla Museum” fundraising campaign to support the nonprofit organization Tesla Science Center at Wardenclyffe. The idea was to purchase Nikola Tesla’s old laboratory in Long Island—known as the Wardenclyffe Tower, which was built to provide wireless energy for the entire Earth—and turn it into a museum. Ultimately, the campaign succeeded, raising over $2.1 million. Thus, Inman became a Tesla champion. (Related: Matthew Inman vs. Thomas Edison.) My closest encounter with Inman was watching him present about his Internet career at SearchFest 2010 at the Governor Hotel in Portland, Oregon. It was fun to see the Oatmeal speak—and get a free copy of his first book, 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth—at a work conference.
Orenthal James “O. J.” Simpson, also nicknamed “The Juice,” is a retired American football player, broadcaster, actor and convicted felon currently incarcerated in Nevada. Simpson had an 11-year career with the NFL’s Buffalo Bills (1969-1977) and San Francisco 49ers (1978-1979) and was the first professional football player to rush for more than 2,000 yards in a season (1973). He was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1985. In 1995, he was acquitted of the 1994 murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman after a lengthy and internationally publicized criminal trial, the People v. Simpson. In 1997, a civil court awarded a judgment against Simpson for their wrongful deaths; to date he has paid little of the $33.5 million judgment. In September 2007, Simpson was arrested in Las Vegas, Nevada, and charged with numerous felonies, including armed robbery and kidnapping. In 2008, he was found guilty and sentenced to 33 years’ imprisonment, with a minimum of nine years without parole. Simpson was born on this day in 1947.
Reggie Miller – No. 776
Reggie Miller is a retired American professional basketball player and current NBA commentator. He played his entire 18-year NBA career with the Indiana Pacers (1987-2005). Miller was known for his precision three-point shooting, especially in pressure situations and most notably against the New York Knicks, for which he earned the nickname “Knick Killer.” When he retired, he held the record for most career three-point field goals made; he is currently second on the list behind Ray Allen. A five-time All-Star selection, Miller led the league in free throw accuracy five times and won a gold medal in the 1996 Summer Olympics. The Pacers retired his No. 31 in 2006. Miller was born on this day in 1965.
I will never forget Miller’s eight points in 8.9 seconds in the 1995 Eastern Conference Semifinals to defeat the Knicks and Patrick Ewing. I was watching that game on May 7, 1995 as a 16-year-old obsessed with basketball. Aside from Michael Jordan, most of my favorite players were three-point specialists, as that was often my role when I played team basketball. Another memorable Miller moment was his two-handed choke sign (and his infamous one-handed choke/nut grab taunt) directed at irritating Knicks fan Spike Lee during the 1994 Eastern Conference Finals. Here are a couple of relevant matchups: Reggie Miller vs. Spike Lee and Reggie Miller vs. Patrick Ewing.